Monday, November 24, 2008

New crew members - Horror on Madness

Today were joined by another land bird. He is a little smaller than Jack
(the bird, not the human; He is a lot smaller than Jack the human). This one
has a yellow breast and a very fine beak. We wondered whether he was the
ghost of Jack, but we think that Jack survived and is terrorizing tourists
in Bermuda - "Oh look dear, this little fellow landed on my head..." We
tried to feed him, but he turned his nose up at the pumpernickel bread that
we had. Jack (the human) suggested that he really wanted multi-grain whole
wheat. Beggars can apparently be choosers.

We were concerned that like Jack (the bird) Robin would defecate all over
everything, but in our naïve, optimistic way, we adopted him into the crew.

Madness has a lifetime net total passenger return rate of +2. That is a
story for another day. Jack cheated us out of increasing this total to three
by flying to shore prematurely. I was looking forward to getting to three
with Robin.

Shortly thereafter, we had another arrival in the form of a flying fish. We
woke to find our new, albeit dead, passenger on deck. I suppose that he had
taken flight to evade some predator, and landed in the cockpit. Imagine his

This development, while ghoulish, did not qualify as horror. The horror
began when we discovered the true reason why Robin declined the
Pumpernickel. HE IS A CARNIVORE! To our horror, Robin hopped over to the

Martin suggested that we all begin sleeping with one eye open, and we all
agreed that it was a sensible precaution against the avian crew among us. It
was not until some hours later that Bob noted the flaw in the plan. He
suggested that we wear eye patches over the open eye.

Have I mentioned that Jack (the human) has been reading the Illiad? Inspired
as he is by tales of Achilles the fearless warrior, he decided that he
would defendthe crew against this interloper. While ostensibly helping to
repair the base of a grab handle he cleverly concealedg his agression
against the avian preditor as an accident, and poor Rpobin was smote,
crushed under Achilles heel.

Even though we were all relived that our eyesight was safe, we were sad to
see Robin pass. We were ruefull as we watched his little body dissapear out
of sight in our wake. Our total remains at +2.